I Try To Put Away Childish Things
by Funky In Fishnet
Summary: Rachel can't stop worrying when Grace is with Danny, and becomes a different person when she talks to him. She doesn't like it. Thank God she's got Stan.


_**Disclaimer: **I own nothing._

_**Author Note: **Set before the whole 'Rachel is trying to get full custody to take Grace to the mainland' story arc. The fic title comes from the Bible verse 1 Corinthians 13: 11_

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**I TRY TO PUT AWAY CHILDISH THINGS**

Rachel briefly closed her eyes when her phone's special ringtone interrupted the morning's peace and quiet. Stan gave her a pointed look and slid a coffee over – filled with plenty of creamer and sugar.

"You know, the sooner you answer, the..."

"I know."

She took a deep cleansing breath of ocean air and flipped open her mobile. "Daniel. What do I owe the pleasure?"

Stan muffled a laugh and smirked at Rachel's narrowed eyes. Yes, she was perfectly aware that she became the queen bitch that Danny always claimed she was as soon as his ringtone started. That wasn't her fault. Just hearing his voice and **that** tone, and he knew exactly what tone she was talking about, and she was back to being barefoot in his New Jersey flat, demanding her CDs back – _this is mine, Daniel. I bought it before we even met / Oh really? Because I distinctly remember..._

And on it went. It was never Rachel's finest hour. In fact it was utterly mortifying how quickly she slid back into that young and vicious voice and mindset and back into _she's mine mine mine_. She clenched her teeth; Danny's voice was getting louder. It set her even further on edge. Danny had so much to answer for.

"Daniel," she snapped at last, a headache beginning to pound at her temples. "How do I know if Grace goes to visit you that you won't start another shoot-out at a football game or the mall or the beach? She could get hurt, and don't tell me it's a one in a million chance. It isn't. It never was then and it won't be now."

Danny's voice exploded in her ear, furious and hurt. She could taste his pain, running through everything like stripes through rock candy. Danny always wore his heart on his sleeve. He claimed she'd ripped it out and put it there. Rachel rolled her eyes; he was so melodramatic. She'd met his family and it was very clear that whatever issues he had had been in place a long time before she'd first met him.

Stan wrapped a hand around her wrist, squeezing it lightly and bringing her back to the present. It was _I've got you_ and _he's not going anywhere, remember?_ Right. Rachel took a deep breath and reordered her thoughts. Daniel had the right to see his daughter and the papers to prove it. And Grace deserved to see her father, no matter what. It was also more than likely that Commander McGarrett would be at Daniel's side for the majority of the day. The Commander was willing to call in favours with the Governor in order to convince Rachel and Stan to stay. An admirable level of commitment to Daniel and to Grace. And whatever Daniel said to the contrary, Commander McGarrett would keep Grace and Daniel as safe as possible, as he had done frequently before. She had to keep that at the front of her mind, not the unending list of ways that Daniel's job could harm Grace or worse...

Rachel took another deep breath, tried to refocus on the neat reassuring thoughts she'd collected, and silently counted to ten before speaking.

"Have her back by five, Daniel. She can't miss dinner here."

She hung up before Danny could reply and reached for her coffee. She could hear Grace playing upstairs, singing and no doubt planning how she was going to spend the day with her Danno. Presuming he didn't get her shot first, or run over during some ridiculous foot chase.

"Rach. You're doing it again."

Oh God. "I'm turning into my mother."

"Uh huh."

He was laughing at her. Rachel could tell. She flicked her milk foam in his direction. Stan caught hold of her, intending to pull her into his lap, when Grace clattered down the stairs.

"Mom! I wanna see Danno."

"He'll be here soon, darling."

"Why does it always take soooo long for him to get here?"

"He's got bad guys to catch," Stan answered seriously, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "You know he'll be here, Gracie."

Grace nodded, placated, and opened the fridge to find her favorite juice. Rachel mouthed 'thank you' at her husband and indicated for a hovering Marie to keep an eye on Grace. It was amazing how often Stan spoke up for Daniel considering how vile Daniel always was to him. He endlessly tried Stan's patience and whilst Stan did occasionally break and tell Danny exactly what he thought of him, he never did so in front of Grace.

Stan let her rest against him, his breath warm on her neck. She could feel his heartbeat ticking over. He was alive. He was here. His job did not involve guns at all.

_So he's safe?_ her best friend Mona had asked.

_No. Secure. He's secure_ Rachel had corrected her. There was a very important difference. And Stan was it, in every secure sense.

She remembered stirring her drink with a lime green swizzle stick and feeling full and warm with the sensation of smug rightness, because her choice was completely perfect. And a not-so-small part of her had gleefully rejoiced that for once, Daniel would be the one left behind trying to make sense of the whirlwind that had just hit him.

She hadn't ever regretted her choice. However, when she wasn't talking to Danny, she did regret **how** she'd made that choice. Most of the time.

Grace was munching on fresh pineapple chunks when Yola called from the hall to say that Mr Williams had arrived for Miss Grace. The girl in question cheered and practically fled the kitchen with a shout of goodbye over her shoulder.

There was that curious hard ball in Rachel's stomach again. The sensation that screamed that she'd never see her baby girl again because Daniel's job would take everything once more. He didn't see that at all, or he pretended that he didn't. Rachel winced, her head hurting more than ever. God, she couldn't go through this every time Grace left the house to see Danny. This was why she and Stan had chosen Hawaii.

Stan's arms tightened around her. He pressed kisses to her bare shoulders, considerate and careful around her pinned-up hair. He wasn't leaving.

"He moved to _Hawaii_, Rach," Stan reminded her quietly. "Do you really think pushing him's gonna make any damn difference?"

Rachel snorted, Daniel had always hated the beach. She had always been fond of it. It was a big part of why she'd decided on Hawaii - it was beautiful and sunny and Grace would love it. And, a particularly vindictive part of her had crowed, Daniel would hate it. If he was as determined as he claimed to be about being a good father, then he'd have to suffer for it. And he did, every day, if the regular phone calls they exchanged were any indication.

A large part of Rachel was impressed that Danny had made a life for himself in Hawaii, that he'd even become comfortable and had made friends, that he'd made a home and a life for Grace. Another equally large part of her remained happy that he suffered everyday thanks to the heat and the sand and the food that he despised so much. Because he deserved it for what he put her through.

Maybe part of her was always going to remain barefoot in that apartment, young and bitterly angry. God, she hoped not.

Stan kissed her neck gently, just a touch to bring her out of her thoughts. It was exactly what she needed. She smiled at him. Daniel had chosen Hawaii and Stan had chosen this family, before it had even started gluing itself back together. He deserved a medal.

She could smell the coffee Stan had been drinking and his cologne. When they eventually separated, he gave her the nod that her hair and make-up were still impeccable. Perfect. The hard ball in her stomach began to dissolve.

She reached for her navy jacket and checked that yes, her jet earrings were where they were supposed to be. Stan rubbed the back of her neck with his thumb, easing any leftover tension that her client might pick up on.

"The art show tomorrow?" he suggested.

Rachel smiled. "Wonderful"

Stan hadn't been sure if he'd be able to make it to the show, until now apparently. The Commander's friend Catherine would probably be there too. Rachel had a lunch date to arrange with her. Catherine was wonderful company and knew all the best places on the island to eat. Grace adored her.

Rachel checked her watch, the bracelet that Grace had made clattering around her wrist. She couldn't keep her client waiting much longer.

"Enjoy the game."

"I will."

Rachel kissed her fingers towards him and retrieved her phone from her bag. The hard ball in her stomach had not completely disappeared and it was always better to be safe than sorry. She'd learned that when she was married to Daniel. She hit speed-dial.

"Commander McGarrett? Daniel has Grace today. Would you mind...?"

Stan laughed behind her. Rachel made a sufficiently rude gesture back with her free hand. The Commander, of course, understood completely and said that he'd take care of it. He dealt with Daniel so well. He deserved a medal too.

Rachel took a deep breath, the rest of her perfectly-planned day could continue now. She would see clients and secure what they needed from her, Stan would get his football game after a hard day's work, and Grace would be returned without grievous bodily harm in time for dinner. Daniel would not have crippled himself again. Commander McGarrett would be invited in for a meal as well of course, it was the least that Rachel could do. The offer would probably drive Daniel crazy. What an entirely perfect coincidence.

_-the end_


End file.
